Quotes to Reflect Upon

"We always ignore the ones who adore us, and adore the ones who ignore us."

"If its good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience... No regrets."

"I win as if I'm used to it and I lose as if I enjoyed it for a change."

"I intend to live forever, or die trying."

"I'll take character over reputation... Your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are."

"Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend."

"Judge me and you'll have no time left to love me."

"I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant."

"Don’t count every hour in the day, make every hour in the day count."

"Women remember the men that they could have had... Men remember the women that they couldn't have."

"To wish you were someone else is to waste the person you are."

Amazingly, these quotes are from the one and only Aubrey Graham, who is more famously known for his mononym 'Drake'.

The reason why I post up most of his quotes is simply because I can relate to them as I do his songs. You can say he stimulates my mind a little more when it comes to relationships, emotions, futures, and everything else in between.

Definitely something I live by, and something I would apply to everything.

Just The Way You Are Pt. 2

I was completely unaware and uninformed about the intentions Shawn and Brian had.
I found out about an hour later, that they had been itching to show people a trailer of what's to come.
So I bring to you, the teaser of our current project:



Thanks again to everyone who's been anticipating the release of the video.
It's in the final process of filming, and should be released by next week.

Hakuna Matata

After seeing this picture, it makes me believe more in the philosophy of 'Hakuna Matata', meaning "there are no worries" in Swahili.



Of course, growing up in the early 90's, you'll know it was popularized by the Disney film 'The Lion King', and known mainly as 'no worries'. (Makes me wish there were still Disney movies like this.)

Originally, I just took it as a carefree song that I didn't really consider applying to my own life. But after meeting Max, I was slightly inspired by his ideal and life regarding the aforementioned proverb.

Now a couple years later, I'm beginning to see it even further.

Joseph 'Rev Run' Simmons (Famously known one-third of the world famous Run-D.M.C.) quotes, "It's never what the situation is, it's always what you make of the situation."

Thinking about it now, my problems aren't as bad as I believe them to be.
I've always put into consideration how much worse someone else could have it, but never really enveloped it.

Now I've become to appreciate everything, seeing everything as a blessing in disguise.
See more of the bigger picture than I already believe I do.
Like, there's always a message behind everything, and how you can accumulate it to your life morals, beliefs and ethics.

Heh, seems like this movie played more of an important role than I thought.

Disney is a force to be reckoned with.

MTV's Video Music Awards 2010

Amazing performances with amazing people.
Amazing vibe with amazing songs.
Amazing food with an amazing nap.
Overall, an amazing night.

Endless Shoveling

It's strange how much of a hole I dug myself into.
It's no one's fault really.

I was completely attached to this mental image dubbed by most as 'the one'.
Foolish right?

I tried my best to hold back everything, but it was difficult.
Never have I met anyone like this.
I knew a fraction of her, but I was completely intrigued.
So when I was losing grip of it, I cried out my last bit of 'chance'.
It was for naught.
A pointless action.

I felt as though instead of going forward, I've been going under.
Digging below, further and further, making continuing the trail ever more challenging.

But I'm learning to deal.
To persevere and continue to dig through the pavements of life, obstacle amongst obstacles.
Coal by coal.
Road by road.

It's nothing new to me.
I just believed that I happened to cross the 'best' one down the line.

Maybe I've set my standards so high, they're unattainable.
Maybe it's best to stick with number 2.
And maybe, it's best to be 99.9% happy.

'Cause realistically, I'll never get 'the one'.
I'll never get number 1.
And I'll never get happiness as an entirety.

I'll just take Dory's advice, just with a little twist:
"Just keep diggin', just keep diggin', just keep diggin'..."

Who knows? Maybe one day I'll strike gold.

Just The Way You Are Pt. 1

This is Bruno Mars version of the music video.
A couple friends of mine had introduced me to this project weeks ago prior to it's release on making our own video, but due to many conflicting schedules, it had been held back.
So much that the official video beat us to it.
There were many original ideas that were intended to be implemented into the video, but only some were used. The ending part is still in the process, since as stated earlier (original idea), could not be applied. Although I wish it could have, the events and timing couldn't have come at such a bad time.

Anyways...

This song and video plays a significant role in my life because it's a song about accepting someone naturally. The song mainly projects on how someone is beautiful the way they are, not needing to change themselves. It doesn't go as far in terms of personality, but the idea is there. The basic message is there.

So that's the main idea we were planning for the video. I'll post up our version soon enough. Just hold tight.

Thanks Brian, Shawn, and the rest of the cast that made it possible.

Who Is?

At the end of the day...
Who is?

Moral Fiber

"Moral fiber... So, what is moral fiber? It's funny, I used to think it was always telling the truth, doing good deeds, basically being a fucking boy scout. But lately I've been seeing it differently. Now I think moral fiber's about finding that one thing you really care about. That one special thing that means more to you than anything else in the world. And when you find her, you fight for her. You risk it all, you put her in front of everything, your life, all of it. And maybe the stuff you do to help her isn't so clean. You know what? It doesn't matter. Because in your heart you know, that the juice is worth the squeeze. That's what moral fiber's all about."

- Matthew Kidman (Emile Hirsch)



Bear with me.
I'm still walking this incline.

Another Chapter

I think it was all a blessing in disguise.
This chapter in my 'Book of Life'.

It's a bittersweet feeling...

Thanks to the current events, it's brought back feelings I thought I'd hidden away so long ago.
Reminiscing over many past instances of where I have been 'dumbstruck', and of course, my history hasn't changed.
Every chapter has had the same ending.

But it's alright.

As much as I hate it, I would much rather feel this pain.
It makes me who I am.

And I believe a new tale will emerge.
I don't know when or how, but I've been this patient so far.
I'm just waiting to pick up the pen again.

Thank You

I didn't mean to come off sounding like I was being your therapist where my words were misinterpreted and used incorrectly.
I didn't mean to come off making you sound like a weak individual, which I know you aren't.
I didn't mean to push you away so abruptly.

I meant to be there to make you happy, to rid of your sorrows and whatever pain 'he' may have caused you.
I meant to try to bring out the best in you, when the worst brought you down.
I didn't mean for it to end this way.

But I can't do a thing about it.
Your decision was stern.
And I can only accept it whether I like it or not.

So I hope a simple 'thank you' will suffice.

Thank you...



I'd be telling the truth if I said I'm happy for you.
I'd be lying if I said I was fine.

Such A Fool

I always had this gut-wrenching feeling of denial.
I just held onto the thin thread of hope.

I knew it was too good to be true, yet I was completely infatuated.
I let it all happen fully aware of the consequences.
The only thing I was unprepared for, was her answer.

Never in my mind would I ever have thought that about anyone.
Anyone.

This is coming from a guy, who's shot at girls are slim-to-none.
It never goes the way I had imagined it to be.
Ever...

I still can't believe what she said. I still can't, it's unbearable.
How I turned to be the bad guy, I just have to know.
So I'm debating if I should sent her this message or not.
It's the only way to just finish it for me.
We've only talked a few times, but it's strange how someone could make me feel this way.
But all good things must come to an end.
I have to end it, for the best.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I know you said you just want to be friends.
I know you won't believe a thing I say in this message.
But this is the only way I know how to express it.
I hope you give this letter a chance and hear me out.

It's pretty funny how things came to be...

I was initially intimidated by how cute you were, only to be down trodden by the hearing of your past.
I only knew a fraction of it, but it made me want to get to know and help you.
Little did I know I actually had the chance to talk to you.
When you couldn't make it to the party, I was pretty bummed.
But then you asked me if I wanted to get some lunch with you sometime.
If you'd had asked me that in person, I would have been completely silent in shock and awe that it even happened.
Thank God for Facebook lol...

Soon thereafter, we began talking on AIM.
I didn't even think that you'd be interested in someone like me; dorky, immature, not-as-slick-as-you-think-I-am.
I also didn't think you'd accept my morals, ethics and beliefs either. It's strange how I've met someone who actually doesn't judge me based on those ideals...

After that conversation, I've been constantly thinking about you, shying away from long conversations and anticipating eating lunch with you.
When you posted something sad, I wanted to say more, but I didn't want to come off too strong.
So I kept it quick and simple until we ate lunch together.
Patience (as you wished) and hope was all I was latching upon.

Then not too long ago (several hours), you tell me you weren't free.

I was confused.
Did she forget?
Did she have plans?
Were there unforeseen circumstances that contributed to her answer?

Once you told me that you don't like it when guys act as if they could get you easily, I was appalled.
I had no idea what to think at all.
All I could think about was the redundancy of that statement. Never have I ever considered any such thing about anyone.

I had the hardest time just thinking of a decent approach to you. That night I properly introduced myself to you, I was happy.
I came straight from Banana Bay 28 minutes prior to Tastea, then an additional 40 minutes of biting my nerves called 'Courage'.
Stupid, I know, but I would have much better known you than not.

That alone made me think, "Easy? This is ridiculous... I'm so intimidated by her essence and she thinks I think she's easy? I had to let her know."

The rest just laid itself along the lines.
Just me telling you as it is.

So now, I'm in a very awkward position.
I know you say you want to be friends, but I can't just leave it at that.
I'd like to know why you feel the way you do and why you said what you said.

I simply just want closure.
An honest answer.
That is all I'm asking for: for you to leave no loose ends and no stone unturned.
I believe it would manage to put my mind more at ease.
I know you've been busy with work and school, but thanks for taking your time in reading this ********.
Thanks for giving a guy like me a chance and something that was worth believing in."

And that was all I asked for.
A fair chance.

More Food for Thought

After talking to Tiffani Phabsomphou today, it got me thinking.
She fed me some information that completely made sense.
On the dot, a majority of the time.

Young, deep thinker, but feels that the 'options' can lead to something else, which isn't a good thing. And to add, still has a 'pest' on the side still lingering on.

Tiffani says it's a phase 'they' all go through.

The fact that she is young, shows that she still has plenty of time for growth and time to experiment, plus being a deep thinker doesn't automatically set them as mature, more of an image set. Tiffani's had a good idea on 'her' since she's read her blog and described it pretty well point for point.

The options shows that if I am second in terms of the five that she says she's interested in, would then lead to think that one is immovable in terms of relations. The other four on the other hand would become experiments to see how she would develop a feel for them. To summarize: Either be number one, or nothing.

Something happens between them, he wants her back, she doesn't, but the moment he stops wanting her back, she wants him back considering he was her first. I honestly wouldn't doubt that at all, since she is already set on a pedestal.

Rabble, rabble, rabble, I know this doesn't really make sense, it's just a kick of knowledge I received. It just made sense in my head rather than being typed.

Let's hope Monday doesn't turn out the way Tiffani had described. Let's hope not...

And if it does, within the next few days, I'll prepare for the worst.

Thanks again Tiffani.

So Far Gone...

I'm beginning to detest wearing my heart on my sleeves in regards to blogging.
But this is the best way I know to cope. To vent.
This was something blog worthy in my opinion...
It needed a breath of fresh air...
Especially since I haven't felt this way in a very, very long time...

I've finally met someone who has the same (atleast most of it) ideals in many different subjects:
Relationships, ethics, humor, so on.
And to appreciate it.
But it finally hits me...
More than usual...
I don't want to have to admit it, but...

I've become completely vulnerable.

I have thrown myself defenseless ready for a hit, feeling it would be worth the impact.
The impact though, is not physical. It is more mental and emotional.
As much as I try to appreciate it, it always comes undone.
I try to keep it in the 'lesson learned' category, and that 'patience will have it's way' soon enough.
But I'm tired of waiting.
My patience has been running dry nigh too long.
I'm tired of the endless need for the feeling of being and being with.
Tired of endless pervading thoughts that continue to ravage my brain of 'possibilities'.

Is it because I've been infatuated that deeply?
Is it because I haven't felt this way in so long?
Is it because I have such a strong feeling about this one person?
Or perhaps it's all 3...?

The impact so far doesn't seem well off anymore...

I think I've set myself once again...
In the friend zone.

Time and time again, it always comes back to this song.
Thank you Adrian Hood for an amazing piece of art.



Wishful thinking, huh...

Another Late Update

Yes, it's been about a month since I've last updated, but I'm sure you'd all forgive me for this better-late-than-never post. As some of you have known, I've turned 21 a couple weeks ago. Sadly, nothing has changed from it: I don't drink, smoke, roll, etc. The only thing that has changed though, is quite possibly my mentality and of course, getting older.

I believed that my former thought of not needing anyone and just having friends alone would be fine, but maybe, just maybe, I'm just getting weaker. Probably with the fact that, I don't know, it would be... Nice? Those damn thought provoking songs never fail when it comes down to making me stuck in this state of mind. I guess it's just something that will fade in time. Maybe it's just that I need something new...

Anyways, here's one song that never gets old with me, especially when I'm just cruising down Harbor (From Costa Mesa to Rowland Heights, DAMN!).

Vision Eyes by Uyama Hiroto ft. Golden Boy


Oh yeah, thanks everyone once again who showed up and made it a memorable night! I may have had a certain amount of drinks, but I avoided alot to survive haha. There will be another one soon enough, I just don't know when though. I'll probably update this post with pictures someday. That's just a probability, don't forget lol

Very Late Update

Hi all. I know it's been quite some time since I've last updated this blog, due to lack of interest or just plain procrastination. Regardless of all that, I decided to make a post. Alot has come and gone since my last post, but I'm still here, legs, arms and all.

With that said, this is what I've become:

* I no longer work at Yogurtland due to some unfortunate circumstances but now am working at Finish Line at The Block as a Sales Associate. The hours/wage isn't as great as my previous job, but I'm currently looking into other places for work.

* I have severed slight ties towards some people whom I feel deserve it. My judgment is based on what they say/do, so when someone gives that push, I push back enabling a very firm standpoint unless something is done by either person(s).

* My sleeping habits have been getting worse as the months proceeded. From sleeping at 2 a.m. to sleeping at 6 or 8 a.m. I end up waking up at 1 p.m. or even 6 p.m.! Talk about insomnia...

* I'm feeling the urge to get myself back into shape and back into breakdancing. After a good 2 year hiatus, 25 pounds does take its toll, and now is the time to take advantage of it.

* The big two-one is coming ever so soon, and I cannot avoid the inevitable. I've already been exposed to what the consequences of alcohol consumption are, and sadly I myself am not prepared. The last time I had drank was for Duy's birthday in 2008, and it was only a ladle (yes, a ladle) full of Hennessy VSOP I believe. Being sober and uninterested in alcohol for the past 2 years will bring a promising fail, yet I doubt I'll even be able to remember it.

Hmm, that's a mouthful there. I didn't think I was going to even go through with this (procrastination once again haha).

Right now though I'm currently addicted to this song by Rainie Yang called 'Rainie Love' or '雨爱'.



As of late, I've been watching a Taiwanese drama called 'Hi My Sweetheart' which this song is the drama's ending theme.

This song puts me in the mind state of contemplation during those long drives alone. My mind just brings up random topics as I stare into the never ending highway, melancholy feelings, satisfaction, and so on. This song is personally one of my favorites, which I feel will never get old. This thinking process as well feels like my old self, the one who daydreams or just drifts away into spontaneous thoughts of anything that comes to mind. I missed it. Atleast this is one thing that hasn't changed through time.

I hope to continue updating on a regular basis, even though I need to make it a habit. Chester once told me that 'It takes 21 days to make it a habit.' Let's try to achieve that then. Until next time.